MIA

Well, I've been MIA for a bit! I started have insane stomach pain a few weeks ago and finally the pain got so bad that Hubby packed up Rowyn and I in the middle of the night and off to the ER we went. 15 hours later we were still in the damn ER and all they told me was to come back in 2 weeks for more bloodwork even though they were sure I had gall stones and that one was blocking my bile duct. Thanks Doc. Since I was still in an absurd amount of pain, to the point it hurt to nurse the baby, my mom came and took me to my hometown (2.5hours away) to see my family doctor. He gave me a rec for bloodwork and sent me to get some tests done and see about getting the blockage removed. As soon as the doctor at that ER looked at me he told me I looked yellow nd jaundice from my bilirubin level being high because of the blockage! However the only place where there was a doctor who could remove the blockage was,of course, at the hospital who left me in a room for 15 hours then did nothing!! Good Lord!

Anyway back I came and got the stone removed from my bile duct yesterday, yay! My throat is sore from the scope and my insides hurt a little from them fishing around to remove the stone but hopefully soon i'll be back to normal! Oh the best part is, is that I still have gall stones in my gallbladder and just hope that they don't cause another blockage before they can get me in to get my gallbladder removed! and who the hell knows when that'll be! BAH I hate our healthcare sometimes!

WW wise, I lost another 2 lbs this week (I went to my WI on the way to the hospital yesterday lol) I think I expected a little more since I couldn't eat much other than ceral the past 5 days! but then again I was fasting, so I'd imagine my body was hanging on to everything it could! Rowyn's been a little off lately as well because of my poor diet and meds i've been on, can't wait till we're all back to normal!!

Bah

so I suck at WW right now... I didn't even go to my WI this week and it's my first week back!! I'm so angry at myself right now! Things were going well then my sister "stole" me and the baby and took us to her house for a few days! Her house is my weakness and it normally sucks to go there (food wise only) but to go there in my first week back totally de-railed this train! It's usually hard to stay OP when I'm back on track but I think going there this early back in the game was a bad choice...but I'm glad I went in regards that I was super lonely and I love being with my sister and her family

Then yesterday I convinced myself I don't suck and that I can do this...then DH comes home with a slice of PIzza! are you kidding me?He meant well because it was 1:00 in the afternoon and I hadn't had a chance to eat yet. He knew if he didn't feed me I probably wouldn't have time to eat. Well I paid for that pizza in more ways than one! Not only and I mad at myself for eating it, I ended up with a massive headache and a baby who is so fussy from the spices in the pizza! Seriously, the kid never cries and she screamed for hours (including through her 1 month pictures at Wal-Mart!) Not to mention I'm so tired!! She's usually really good at night, she wakes up, I feed her and she goes right back to sleep...last night, not so much! She was awake for almost 4 hours! So I learned my lesson the hard way! At least she'll help me stay OP and DH promised to never buy me pizza again lol

Today is a new day and after I nap at some point (lol) i'm determined to get out for a walk. It'll be a short one but it'll also be better than no walk at all!

Motherhood

This is turning into as much of a motherhood blog as a weigh loss blog, but I guess for me now they go together! I just gave Rowyn a bath then we rocked and read a book and I put her in her bassinette so hopefully fall asleep on her own. As I was reading to her "Love you Forever" of course I cried, but it really sent home a lot of things for me. I need to be 100% committed to WW, I need to be here to rock her when she's all grown up, I need to be heathly and love myself so I can be here to be old and grey and have her take care of me!
These past few days, since being 100% back OP, have been really tough for me. I'm still getting used to being a new mom and now i've thrown myself back into this. I mean, that's great don't get me wrong, but man! It's way harder! I hardly have time to remember to eat at all, let alone remember to eat healthy, and have the time to prepare something healthy. When she's sleeping I feel like I need to clean the house! I have an amazing husband, who is such a great Daddy, but I think he hasn't realized yet how hard it is to take care of a baby, the house, the animals, and yourself all at the same time! He gets home from work and It seems like I hand him the baby and start cleaning all the things I didn't get done during the day...yet the house seems to stay messy!
I'm hoping that once I heal up from the c-section and get a stroller things will get better. If I can leave the house, even to take a walk around the block, maybe i'll feel less like i'm cooped up in the house losing my mind, and more like i'm doing something about being fat~

Tomorrow

So tomorrow is the day I offically restart my weight loss journey! I keep reminding myelf to remember how different it will be before my pregnancy! Right now i'm lucky to get time to have a nice shower let alone cook food! But my husband is fantasic at taking over baby duties when I need to do things, so i'll be able to get things ready for the week ahead of time...that's the only way i'm going to be able to do this.
Another thing hard for me will be lack of excercise at first! I love working out and I love going to the gym and I can't do either of those for three reasons! #1, I had a c-section 3 weeks ago and i'm still in a lot of pain trying to recover. #2, money...we have none...therefore I have no gym membership even when I can work out again. I'm on Mat leave from Goodlife Fitness, so i've always had a free membership! I'm hoping that once i'm able that I can volunteer in the childminding at least, that'll get me a free membership and it's not like I have much else to do! and #3 I can't even go out for a walk with Rowyn because we don't have a stroller and have no money to buy one! I'm looking for one on kijiji, but even they are more than we can afford right now...boo to that!
No matter how many excuses I can come up with, and there could be a lot more, I need to trust that I can do this, and need to remind myself how great I felt loosing the weight before.
Tomorrow is the day!!! I'm kind of excited to see how much I weigh after having the baby! yay!

~ Meet my beautiful daughter, Rowyn! She was born on December 14 @ 2:38am, 48 1/2 hours after my water broke and after 17 hours of labour we ended up having a C-Section because her head wasn't coming down. I'm still in recovery mode from the surgery but i'd do it all over again, she's perfect~
Before I got pregnant I had lost almost 35 pounds and gained almost all of it back by the time I had her. I'm not sure where i'm at weight wise right now, because my meeting day isn't until Wednesday but according to my sisters scale i've lost about 20 of it since her birth...Wednesday we'll know for sure! I promised myself that i'd give myself 3 weeks after her birth to get back on track and here we are! She'll be 3 weeks old on Monday and i'm in the meeting room on Wednesday!
I'm excited to get back on track, although I know it'll be a lot harder now with a little one and negative time to do anything. But I also know I need to do this for her, my little family and mostly for myself. I know the weight won't come off as fast as it did before, espically since I'm only 3 weeks post-op and am still in a fair amount of pain. That means no gym (which we can't afford anymore anyway!), little walking, lifting or anything else really! I'll manage though and try not to get too discouraged!
Here we go! I'm back with a vengance!!!!yipee!