"Oh My God We're Back Again"

Ok ignore the BSB title lol But I am, once again, and hopefully for the final time, Back again! I've been half assing it for awhile now but I have been all talk and no action. I didn't want to be one of those people who's new year's resolution is to lose weight. I feel that most times we fail at that so this year I decided that it's not a New Year's Resolution it's a New Life Resolution! This will be the beginning of a whole new life for me and my family. I want to be organized in all aspects of my life, I want to clutter gone and the head spinning to end. I have reorganized our living room which was overgrown with toys! Now they all have a neat and tidy home in their cube shelving and storage ottoman. Sure it's a disaster in the day but once she goes to bed I can have my living room back and in order!
There are no more excuses as to why my spare room is a junk room. Sure it contains all our office stuff, my Avon stuff, a spare bed and is now also a playroom, but with the right frame of mind and the will to make it work, it will. Yesterday I rearranged and reorganized the room and it's 95% done. Just a few little things to put into place and I will have a workspace where Rowyn can also play safely as I'm doing it!
Next up will be organizing Rowyn's room and making it stay that way. There is no need of her room being in the state it's in! She's only 13 months old and really only sleeps in there and it's a disaster! No need Kyla, No need.

I'm also committing to menu planning every week. I feel I will waste less of our precious pennies this way and it will also make staying OP easier. Getting to the gym will be a challenge however I will also plan that time into my day which leaves me no excuse.I will write my gym days on the calendar on the same night as menu planning. I can come up with many reasons, some feel very legit, as to why it's easier not to go to the gym. We only have one car, and DH has it most days. But on days where he's working a day shift he can take the bus in the am, I can go to the gym and pick him up after work. Goodlife has a daycare where Rowyn can go and there should end my list of excuses!


Now look how big my girlie has gotten since i've last updated!!This is at her 1st B-day Party in December!

Om nom nom!

The other day I decided to stuff a pita pocket with tuna mixed with ff mayo, celery and spices. I added 1/2 a slice of ff cheese and grilled it in 2tsp of oil and OMG delish! I was very excited about all of it really.lol I could check off my daily oils, a lean protein serving and whole grain and for me the more I can check off in my planner the happier I am about what I just ate! I just fed on to dear hubby and he loved it too!
For supper tonight I am making a yummy spinach salal with oranges, strawberries and feta cheese with a basamic dressing and I'm excited because it's amazing! It's nice to be excited about healthy eating again, it feels like it's been way too long :)

Planning!

I figured that since I'm struggling right now that I should try to plan my entire food for the day the night before. This is nothing I've ever done before, but now that Rowyn is so busy I just don't have time during the day to think which only leads to eating whatever I can. Or, I sit there while I'm eating and thinking about what I'll be eating next. It's part of my love affair with food, I'm always thinking about it which causes me to always want it! So here it goes!

B: 2c multigrain Cheerios w/ 1/2c skim milk

S: 1c grapes

L: Tuna w/2tbsp ff mayo on a pita grilled w/2tsp EVOO + spinach salad w/cucumber&tomato w/2tbsp low cal greek dressing

S:1c Garden Vegetable soup

D: 4oz "Speta" Chicken ( baked chicken breast stuffed with chopped spinach,reduced fat feta and greek dressing) with 1c whole grain rice and peas!

S: fudgesicle

Optional snack= 1 ww cupcake w/ 1c skim milk

For a total of 34 points! with a couple spares just in case!

SO lets see how this pre-planning this goes!

yes, long time no see!

I've been a slacker. I've basically stopped caring and starting gaining as duh, they go hand in hand! Especially when you still need to lose another 100lbs or so! I've been thinking a lot lately and trying to analyze why it is that I've pretty much stopped caring and starting eating crap and saying "yup, tomorrow..." it's always tomorrow!

I've learned what I've known all along. I associate working out with eating healthy and if I'm not doing one, I'm definitely not doing the other! I've tried doing the 30 at shred at home *too hot or don't make time*, I've bought an elliptical on Kijiji and it's in our bedroom *it's too hot in our room*, I've tried the C25K *fun until after a week I was laid up for 2 weeks bc of my knee*, I've tried walking 4-5k a day with Rowyn *walking is too boring*!! excuses all around! I just keep thinking that if I JUST could go to the gym in the time it took me to walk 5k I could have a great workout at the gym and burn 4x the calories and feel good about it!!

I miss the gym and *tada!* have learned that I just don't have the know-how or will power to work out at home. Therefore I think I'll have to put a hold on my WW membership and join the gym (can't afford both right now) I'll still track and start blogging being more active on the message boards again. Those things make a huge difference! It makes sure that my weight loss and need for support are constant in my thoughts :)

I'm 95% sure that's my decision and I'm 100% sure that I'm back!!

back in the game...

Well my knees are still messed up royally which beyond sucks! I haven't done any form of exercise in almost 2 weeks since I hurt them :( I want to go for walks even but I can't, I'm babysitting a toddler and don't (yet) have a double stroller and by the time he leaves to go home Missy is ready for bed. Unless Daddy is home then I can't go anywhere, and he's not home a lot in the evenings. Kris is gone away right now for work, something he hasn't done since he stopped working in Ft.Mac last January! It's a little lonely but he'll be home tomorrow!yay! It's way harder trying not to snack when he's gone, it feels like there's not much else to do in the evening when you're all alone!

I think tonight I'll make the WW Garden veg soup again! I made it for the first time last week and MAN! It's delicious and filling! I was thinking there was no way i'd be even remotely full off of one cup, but that and a nice salad is a perfect, super low point lunch! Well the little guy I babysit just left and my baby just went to bed so I should go finally put away the groceries I bought this afternoon and get the house cleaned! Man toddlers can destroy a house in no time lol

Ok seriously body? Not happy with you...

I have no idea WTF happened this week! I kept going with the C25K until Saturday when I destroyed my knee...it's Wednesday and I am still having a really hard time with it, it's still swollen...stupid knees. I haven't been good at tracking since returning to WW, but this week I tracked everything and never once went over my weekly points! yet somehow I GAINED 2.2 frigging pounds! Although (not using it as an excuse but just saying) that I normally WI in the am and weighed in after supper today. But I'll be doing my WI after supper from now on as I'm now babysitting an 19 month old in the daytime. So I'm hoping that with the WI switch and the fact my knee is still crazy swollen and I'm retaining water, that I'll have a good WI next week. I'm trying not to be discouraged and just take it as it comes, but there is always that fat girl brain that kicks in and tells you not to bother...Shut up fat girl! This sweet smile always is a good reminder to keep doing what i'm doing :D

Challenge

So somehow me challenging my father to loose weight with me became this huge weight loss challenge! There is between 5-7 people who hopped on board with this who heard through other people that my family was doing this! crazy! My sister and I thought it would be a good idea for everyone to put $1 for each pound they loose into a pot and the winner would take it all! My father then suggested that we should each start out with $10 in the pot to keep people motivated and add $1 for every pound above and beyond the $10 buy in!

I'm excited and it seems that everyone else is too! I'm at a point right now where I started the C25K to change up exercising and give me a boost (and to prove to some people that fat ppl can, in fact, run!) but I needed more motivation in the food aspect, I've been hardcore slacking! Needless to say with this much money on the line I'm all business lol

I did it!

Well thanks to the inspiring Alica over at Mommy Blog I started the Couch to 5 k today! I modified it slightly since I haven't ran since I played rugby in 2002 and I was pushing Rowyn in her stroller but still! I did it! I need to find my other knee wrap since I only had one and had to debate which knee to wrap...now the unwrapped one is hurting lol I get my maternity EI tomorrow so I'm excited to get a few groceries and eat more veggies...it's so hard being so broke and trying to eat right. It's so sad that in our society the crap is cheaper then the real food :( It makes me sad. Anyway overall i'm proud of myself today :)

She Lives!

Well, It's been awhile but I'm finally starting to feel human again! I'm still sore often, and I have a stitch that poking me but all in all I'm back. I'm down another 2 lbs this week making a total of 43.2 pounds lost since I started my journey!! yehaw! That's also dropped my BMI by 8 points and tomorrow (if Rowyn will allow it) I want to see how many total inches that adds up to. I'm pretty darn excited about this, not that it's been easy, but it makes the victory just that much sweeter! I've posted a new face shot because I'm so excited that I can see a difference in my face and can actaully see a little dip in my collarbone! whoot! Don't mind my girlie heading for the breasts(with her silly face on)...apparently it was lunch time and please ignore the fact I look like a dirt bag, this was a few days after surgery lol

I didn't quite reach my Easter goal of loosing 25 lbs but I made it to 18, and now have joined the Canada Day challenge on the 100+ board and pledged 20lbs lost my Canada day, so far i', down 4.4 so I'm on my way! Activity Points are hard to earn right now because I'm still sore from surgery and I'm not really supposed to do too much or lift the baby in her stroller or car seat, but I think we may go for a walk tomorrow. I think I can drive the stroller down the stairs and then go get her and put her in it lol. a couple slow laps around the block will probably do us both the world of good!

I've been wanting to make stir-fry lately but have never attempted this...any pointers? What does everyone like to put in it and what do you use for a sauce?

good riddence!

SO I had surgery yesterday and got my gallbladder removed , yay but man I'm hurting! It sucks though that I didn't get to hold my baby at all yesterday and my boobs are hurting from not nursing her! I'm only expressing what I need to take off to be "comfortable" but I miss nursing my little Bug :( Anyway just a quick note to say haven't fallen off either the planet or the bandwagon and I'll have a real update soon :) Hope everyone is doing well!

Oh and check out my Diva modeling her new bathing suit from the Easter Bunny!

Pep Talk

So I decided to go to Miramichi (my hometown) five days before we planned on it, to spend time with my sister and stuff. When we just come for the weekend we are bombarded with people that want us to visit and want to see R that it's too crazy! Espically on holiday weekends when there are more than one holiday dinner involved. That means one whole day with his family, and one with mine and it's too much on the baby, who likes her nice calm schedule we have at home. Anyway the point is, I had very little time to plan to come here, and this is the place I have the hardest time being OP. My sister went out the day before I got here and got lots of good food and stuff because she knows it's hard for me here, and I got a few more essentials today, so I'm feeling strong and knowing I can do this. I'll do my Wi here as well, which is keeping me OP knowing that I still have a WI even, if it's not in my normal meeting room.

I'll be eating lots of salad and veggies with my Easter dinners this time, and my sister and I are making WW cupcakes and brownies tomorrow so i'll have desert planned and decided upon! the best part is no one will no how low cal they are! I'm drinking all my water and then some because my sister has a water machine which I love! I wish we had one...we got one once but couldn't make it not taste like plastic, gross.

Anyway I'm feeling in control of this visit, and in control of myself. I need to loose this weight and I can't do it if I have to be in a certian home to stay on track.

I Made It!

I made it through the night without a complete breakdown! Hubby brought home a few snacks, I had enough to say I had some (and tracked it) and I'm making him take the rest of them to work to get them out of the house and out of my reach today. I woke up this morning with the baby smiling and the sun shining in my window and knew today would be different then yesterday and I needed to get over it! Today is a new day and I can do this ! :)
Now Kris is in the living room with Rowyn watching Bugs Bunny and I'm making some steel cut oats for breakfast, and enough for tomorrow as well! I'm running low of veggies and salad, so common payday! I love looking in my fridge and finding an abundance of yummy, good food...it makes me happy! And a picture of Rowyn watching TV in my bed because she makes me happy!

Mr. Hungry

Bah. Today I cannot stop thinking about food and wandering around the house in search of something that I know I won't find! I've been having a day today where I'm feeling overwhelmed and sad but for no reason I can pinpoint! I'm missing my family who live a little over 2 hours away, but I'll see them next Friday for Easter (which is VERY exciting!) I just want to eat and had no desire to do anything else today! It's too cold to go for a walk with the babe, and I was very lazy and hardly even cleaned anything today, although I'm sure I could have found something to do I was just consumed my thinking of food! I even fought the urge to call hubby at work and tell him to bring home a DQ chicken finger basket! But I didn't and I guess that's what matters. I'm here typing it out instead of searching out a way to sabotage myself (which I am a master at btw)

Shreded!

Well I started the 30 day Shred again! This time I'm 100% committed to it! Last time I did it I also was going to the gym 4-6 times a week, and since I MUCH prefer the gym I stopped doing it. Since I'm on Mat leave from my job at Goodlife, I'd have to pay for a membership, and since I'm on Mat leave I'm also broke lol Hence the commitment to the Shred this time around. I may not do it everyday but I'll do it! I really want to be able to reach Level 3, although it looks terrifying! After the first day Rowyn was much heavier and I forgot how much a good workout hurts so good! I love that feeling! Is that wrong or sadistic? I love to be sore the day after a workout, I take it as a sign I did something right.
So last week I tracked a lot more then I was, and it showed on the scales in a 1.4lbs loss this week, I felt good about it, I think I earned it this week. I've also been making fantastic meals lately and loving cooking!Like my Tzatiki pizza! Aside from my failed attempt at lentil soup, but I got some great tips from the WW boards, and thank the Gods for that because I have 4 containers of it frozen in the freezer! I will eventually, and somehow make it yummy and not suck!
That's about it from me today! Other than Kris and I took Rowyn to the market this weekend to scope out the meat and produce and here's Rowyn and I enjoying the sun at the Market!

Tomorrow is a new day

So last week I worked my butt off! I tracked almost everything, got in all my water and all that jazz...go weigh in and I'm UP! I mean only .2 but still, I really was prepared for a loss and bam! I know it doesn't seem like much (only a poop according to hubby lol) but I dunno, it's disappointing more or less because I felt this was the first week I would have earned a loss!
In light of that disappointment I've been slipping kinda this week...I has DQ one day, and yesterday...oh yesterday. I decided to bake french vanilla pumpkin muffins and then the downfall was I couldn't stop thinking about how ridiculously yummy they'd taste with damn icing! I've been eating way too much icing ever since :( Boo on me, however, I froze most of the muffins so there will be nothing to put icing on and I also took some to the ladies I work with, get them out of the house!
Tomorrow is a new day and even though I had fall-backs this week I have been eating tons of veggies, salad, fish and other good for me yumminess! My fridge is full of fruit, veggies, salad, hummus and tzatziki! I's fall right off the wagon if it wasn't for WW sourdough pretzels dipped in tzatziki! I also took an hour when Kris was off and cut off all my fruit and veggies and put them into containers so they are all ready to be eaten! yumyum!
Enjoy the picture of my amazing stocked freezer which brings me much joy, especially because it's organized...I love organization <3 I'm off to bed, I think all this sugar has given me a headache!

Baking Day!

Ok so I didn't get out for a walk today but I baked goodies all day! I made 2 loaves of Banana Bread, 24 Banana choc.chip muffins, and tried Black Bean Brownies! Seriously the brownies...*drool* to die for and low in points considering the goodness!!! Now Rowyn's in bed and i'm making two batches of pumpkin chocolate muffins! I'm forcing myself to freeze most of it because I will eat is all but I'm feeling like I have a plan for when the sweet tooth hits!

mmm Pudding

So another fairly decent day! Rowyn and I went for another walk today, about 3km or so, it was about 10 degrees! Beautiful! I also broke out the pedometer today because in the new WWM it talks about people loosing more when using one! I had 7287 steps today! and I didn't have it on all morning while I was cleaning and doing laundry, yay! They say that 1320 steps equals a kilometer so that's about 5 1/2 kms! I tracked everything except supper...we had macaroni and I was too lazy to add everything up, but I had a boatload of points left for the day.

I got Rowyn's cloth diapers and liners all washed today so i'm hoping to start her (mostly us really) slowly on them...There are two main reasons I can't go 100% cloth just yet. #1 being we have quite a few disposables left that people have given us and don't really want to waste them. #2,the main reason, is that we don't have enough liners yet. I'm mostly using AMP and Applecheeks bamboo liners but they are expensive! My MIL got me 6 diapers on line and they each came with 1 microfiber liner so I have those as well. I hope that those covers are decent, I can't really find any reviews on them, they are some brand I've never heard of that came from China I think. I'm excited to get going on them. Nothing like a cute little bum in a cloth diaper!

And i'm off to make some no fat chocolate pudding! MMMmmmm

Go me!

After last night and deciding that I was going to focus on tracking and baby steps today went well (and not only because it's my birthday!) I tracked everything and stay OP! Kris bought me a "birthday brownie" which was insanely high in points but I ate it and I tracked it! Kris, Rowyn, our dog Sprite and I all went for a 40 minute walk today which was great! I had a nice sweat on when I got home yay! I think after having a good day it's all I really needed to get my head back on straight! I'm also going to go back and read through the weekly booklets to give myself friendly reminders, and also write down some more recipes out of the books and magazines so I have them all in one place when I need them! Yay for good days!

Time Management

Oh man I guess I didn't realize how hard it would be to manage my time with a new baby! I've decided this week I'm going to focus only on tracking, something I've been having hard time with lately. I've came to the conclusion (again) that I'm putting too much pressure on myself to do everything perfectly and end up being overwhelmed and end up doing nothing 100%. I also need to get my 30 day shred DVD back from my friend who borrowed it. I'd like to do that for the 30 days then I'm hoping I'll feel confident enough to start the Couch to 5k. Fingers crossed! Tomorrow is my birthday and I think I owe it to myself to have a long relaxing bath and gather myself back together and focus on my goal...Being healthy and fit to show Rowyn nothing but good habits so her life can be all it's supposed to be !

Stupid Gallbladder

Well after all the crap I went through with my bile duct being blocked with a gall stone and getting that removed I started having gallbladder attacks again. Huge whomp whomp on that one! So I called the surgeon to see when I was on the list to get my gallbladder removed (which I was told I was on!) only to find out I'm not of the effin list at all! The women felt sorry for me I think and she's going to get me on the list ASAP and get me in. Then I had a massive attack which had me curled up on the floor bawling and sobbing. Poor hubby didn't know what to do with me! I couldn't stand up straight, I couldn't breath, it was horrible! Oh and did I mention this was 4 am this morning? bah So I'm back on a diet of cereal and toast pretty much...Maybe some salad. fruit and veggies at least but protein is risky...yum *eyeroll* I miss chicken all ready!

In WW related news i've decided to get my head out of my ass and stop feeling sorry for myself (for now at least.) I gained this week and I deserve ever ounce of it! I'm an emotional eater and i've been eating like a mad women, not to mention I've had two TOM's this month (while still nursing!)? wtf body? Not that they were to the usual degree but it was enough to have me being psycho to my hubby and wanting to eat everything that's bad! But today is a new day, and this week the plan is to focus on tracking again, drinking my water and just having even a little self control lol
And of course the pictures of Rowyn are just because she's too darn cute!